Hijinx Revisited
by adam-bat
Summary: Sequel to Hijinx Gone Pink, Beast and Bobby plan revenge against Logan. Updated finally! The promised guest arrives, more wild chases and now the group is being persued by New York's finest.
1. Default Chapter

Hello and howdy!  Hey folks adam_bat is back and in honor of X2 I am bringing my own sequel.  This one is to "Hijinx Gone Pink" so if you haven't read it you better.  Some folks out there thought Logan didn't get his due and I was forced to agree.  Twinkies are life and stealing them should be death! Or at least a humiliating revenge.  Just so you know I don't own any characters or products mentioned here and I don't have any money so don't sue ok? Okay.  And now…

Hijinx Revisited

Bobby wearily stood up from his kneeling position on the floor next to the bathtub and sighed, "Finally."  He dropped his scrubber into a metal bucket nearby and left the now spotless bathroom and headed for his room.

It had been nearly two weeks since the whole pink fiasco and he was just barely finishing up the last of the chores Cyclops had assigned him and Beast.  He headed down the hallway, head slumped down tiredly to his chest and legs dragging along, "I'm gonna go and crash for a whole week."  He mumbled as he reached his door.  His tired mood turned angry when he looked up to see yet another picture of him with a large chest stuck to his door.

"ARGHH!" He yelled and tore the picture off, crumbling it and tossing it on the floor, "This isn't funny any more Logan!" He yelled down the hall and entered his room, slamming the door in frustration.  "AHHHH!"  He looked around his room to find the walls covered with even more photos.  In a rabid torrent he raced around the room tearing the pictures off.  He began to frantically tear the pictures up into tiny pieces, littering the floor with confetti.  It was then that Beast burst in, a stack of photos of a pink self held in his massive arms.  

"I see he is still plaguing you as well."  Beast said un-amused as he looked on at Bobby who stood in the middle of the room panting angrily.

"Yeah, can you believe that guy?  How long is he gonna keep putting these things up?"  

Beast sighed and shrugged.

"Well we need to get him back, I'm tired off all this.  And you know what? We never even paid him back for that Twinkie that started all this mess."  Bobby stalked over to a dresser and pulled out a folder. 

"And how do you suggest we accomplish this?"  Beast asked.

"With this."  Bobby pulled out a sheet of paper with series of elaborate stick figure drawings and scribbled notes.  "I call it 'Operation Twinkie Revenge'."  He handed the paper to Beast who quickly mused over it.

"Bobby…" Beast said, a huge grin forming across his blue features, "This is absolute brilliance."  

"I know."  They shared an evil laugh and headed for Hank's lab.


	2. Launching

The Launching of 'Operation Twinkie Revenge'

"1900 hours and Beast and Iceman have commenced 'Operation Twinkie Revenge' or OTR (otter).  We have made base in Beast's lab and are preparing a stealthy invasion followed by a massive strike that will obliterate the enemy! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"Bobby give me that!"

"No you're supposed to use codenames Hank, hey give it back.  Hank!"

*Click*

"Aww Hank you ruined my historical recording.  That was a military log."  Bobby complained. 

Hank set down the tape recorder and continued to work, "Bobby your recording was serving as a distraction and I need to concentrate if I am going to be able to get this serum together in time for 'the launch'."  Beast peered into a microscope while simultaneously typing into his computer.

Bobby sighed and settled into his chair.  "How much longer?"  

"I am almost…done!"  Beast exclaimed and pulled away from the microscope to examine the data on his screen he grinned, "Now to just mix this compound.  It will take a little time for the chemicals to be ready, but your distractions should provide more than ample time for the mixture to set."  

Bobby grinned.  "So we're a go for phase one of OTR?"

"Yes, we are defiantly a go."  Beast held a thumbs up to Bobby who returned the gesture. "Now take this."  He handed Bobby a tiny pill, "Take it right as the competition begins and you should be fine."

Bobby nodded and placed the pill in his pocket, "What if it doesn't work?"  

"Oh, it will."  Beast assured him and Bobby nodded and left, off to find Logan.

Logan was in the kitchen sitting alone at the table drinking.  Bobby entered and he grinned, "Hey Roberta." 

Bobby glared at him, "Ha ha, very funny." He sat down opposite from Logan, pulling the pill out of his pocket.  "Look me an Hank are tired of this.  We'll make you a deal, I challenge you to a drinking contest and if I win you have to stop."

Logan snorted, "Yeah right kid.  Ain't no way you could compete with me."  

Bobby held up the pill, "Beast gave me this.  It's supposed to reverse the effects of alcohol.  He figures it'll give me a chance even with your healing factor.  So what do you say?  Care to pit science against nature?"

Logan raised a curious eyebrow and then nodded, "Sure, why not?  If nothin else it'll be fun ta see ya lay yerself out."  He stood up and left the room, returning with three ominous looking bottles and a couple of shot glasses.  He set them down on the table and pulled the plug out of one bottle, Bobby wrinkled his nose as Logan poured.

"What is it?" He asked, lifting up the glass.

"Ya don't wanna know."  Logan chuckled and sat back down, raising his own glass.  "Ok, you first."

Bobby placed the pill in his mouth and swallowed it before tilting the shot down his throat.  He swallowed hard and went into a coughing fit.  Logan smiled and calmly drained his glass. 

"You still wanna do this?" He grinned. 

"Yeah."  Bobby said in determination and pushed his glass forward to Logan who laughed and poured again.

"So you see Gambit, Logan owes a great debt to all of us and it would bring Bobby and I great pleasure if you would join us in exacting revenge."

Gambit studied over the plan as he listened to Beast, "Dat homme sure did cause a lot o' trouble didn he?"  Beast nodded in agreement, "Gambit spent de whole weekend scrubbing down dat plane."  He handed the paper back to Beast, "I'm in."

Beast smiled broadly, "Welcome aboard.  From my judgment phase one should be just about completed, come let us go to the kitchen and see how Bobby is fairing." 

"You…you know what kid?"  Logan slurred, staring across the table at Bobby.  His eyes were unfocused and he teetered a bit in his chair.

"What *hic* what?"  Bobby had a stupid grin plastered on his face and he was slowly sinking down towards the tabletop.  He pulled himself up abruptly and blinked.

"Yer not all…yer not all that…"Logan's face held a puzzled expression as he tried to remember what he was going to say, "Aw hell, I forgot."

Bobby laughed and tipped back another shot.

"Oh yeah!"  Logan's face lit up as he sloppily poured another shot, "Yer not that bad a drinkerrr."  He downed the shot and pointed a finger at Bobby, "but don't ya ever tell no one I said that."

Bobby nodded, "I am huh?  Don't worry I, I won't."  He pulled in another shot, "Heh, science is cool.  But, don't tell…what's his name?  Hank!  Don't tell Hank."

Logan nodded and then grinned, "Tell ya a secret."  Bobby leaned in close and Logan looked around the room, making sure no one else was around, "that pill was fake."

Bobby grinned for a moment and then frowned, he pulled back and stared skeptically at Logan, "Whatcha talkin bout?"  Bobby pursed his lips.

"I could smell tha sugar from here."  Logan laughed and slapped the table, "Ol' Hank pulled one on you."

Bobby furrowed his brow trying to figure out what Logan was saying, "Oh! So you mean…it was fake…and I just drank…?"  He looked at the two empty bottles and the nearly finished third, "Wow."  He nodded in self-approval and then slid out of the chair, landing on the floor with a thud.

Logan began to laugh even harder, leaning back and holding his belly.  His chair tipped over and he fell on his back on the floor, out cold.  

Beast and Gambit peeked into the kitchen and saw the two passed out on the floor.  They shared a conspiratal grin and headed in.  Gambit picked up Bobby as Beast went over to Logan. He gave him a sedative just to be on the safe side and then dragged him out of the kitchen and back down to the lab.

Well that's it for now folks.  What's gonna happen to Logan?  Will the trio get away with their revenge?  Who knows, you will if you stay tuned…  


	3. Escapades

Alright! Another chapter! Sorry bout the wait but here it is! Thanks for all your reviews and if ya like you can write more.  I plan on writing much more and more often but for now here is chapter three of the Hijinx revisited entitled:

Escapades 

 "Shaving cream."

"Shaving cream."

FWWWOOOP

"Razor."

"Razor."

BZZZZZZZZ

"Towel."

"Towel."

"Powder."

"Powder."

POOF POOF

"Lipstick."

"Lipstick."

SLLLAATTHHER

"Wig."

"Wig."

"And…finished.  What a remarkable job, if I do say so myself."

"He look great!"

"Of course, now to load him into the van and get downtown."

"Oui."

Beast sat in the driver's seat of a large Black van borrowed from the mansion's garage.  Next to him was Gambit and in the back seat strapped side by side were the unconscious duo of Logan and Bobby.

"Dey both out cold non?"  Gambit asked with a smile.

"Yes, it seems the drinking competition worked to the full effect planned.  Although Bobby's discovery of the placebo happened sooner than I had planned.  I wanted to tell him myself but oh well.  He lasted as long as was required."

"Why didn't you give him a real one Hank?"

"While I have been working on such a medicine I have yet to sort out the finer details and create such a pill.  So I merely used the power of suggestion and hoped for the best.  He'll have a bit of a headache and hangover, but those effects I have been able to create a dampening agent for.  Bobby will be fine and in the end I'm sure he'll see the humor of the situation."

"Yeah? And what about Logan?"

Beast cast a glance at him, easy smile on his face, "Logan will also be fine.  We'll have a good laugh and it'll be the end of the repercussions leftover from the pink incident."

"You really believe dat?"

Beast's smile grew and he shook his head, "No.  Check the glove box."

Gambit opened the compartment and pulled out an envelope.  Inside were plane tickets, to Hawaii.

"We figured Canada and Mexico would be far to obvious, and an island would be harder to track to.  I, of course, have erased any paper trail leaving only physical tracking.  Once were in the air it'll be…"

"UGGHHHH…" A groan came from the backseat.  Beast and Gambit both shared a glance backwards and returned to their conversation.

"Harder for dear Logan…to…" Beast trailed off and looked back again with Gambit.  What they saw was Logan who had now flushed over with pink and was dappled with purple spots blinking awake.

"What the hell happened?" he groaned while rubbing his head.

"Dis not good Hank…" Gambit whispered.

"AND WHAT THE HELL AM I WEARIN?!!"

"Oh dear…"  

"RAAWWWRRRRR!!!"  

"Hank!!!"  

Logan began to thrash about in the back trying to pull free from the seat belt that held him down.  *SNIKT*  His claws came loose and Hank slammed down on the gas sending the van shooting forward and causing Logan to fall back after slicing off the strap.  Logan continued to struggle forward and Beast began to swerve madly throwing his angry passenger around.

"I thought you said dat tranq would keep him out!" Gambit screamed while clutching the dashboard.

"My calculations…" he pulled hard to the left, "appear to have been…." The van swerved around an oncoming car, "Slightly off…Stars and Garterssss!!!" Beast had swerved again and cut so hard that the van was now teetering on two wheels.  

"WOOAAAHHH!!!" Gambit braced himself against the dash and roof.  Suddenly three gleaming claws thrust between him and Beast.

"YER ALL DEAD!!!!" 

Beast saw the claws and jerked the wheel again.  The van spun in a circle and crashed down so all four wheels met pavement.  The hard turn sent the vehicle shooting into an alleyway, sparks flying as one side ground against the wall.  Logan was once again up and menacing the two between the front seats and Hank slammed on the brakes, sending the mutant forward and then peeled out and sent him flipping backwards and into the rear of the van.  

"Dead End!!!" Gambit yelled and pointed.  Beast was forced to swerve to avoid the large brick wall up ahead and the van squealed as it slid up against the wall.  It collided with a loud crunch of metal.  

"Time to depart!" Hank sang as he undid his seat belt and jumped out.  Opening the passenger door he quickly worked on getting Bobby free who had miraculously made it thru unscathed.  

"Beast! I can't get out!!" Gambit was frantically struggling to pull free from the seat and cross over to exit out Hank's door since his was smashed.  "Help!"

Logan was now climbing over the seats uttering curses and threats and Hank quickly pulled Bobby out and slung him over his shoulder.  Then he moved to his door and reached over, unlatching Gambit's belt and pulling him out to.  Quickly he slammed the doors as Logan thrust his claws forward.  They sliced thru the metal and Hank quickly bounded away carrying his two cohorts.  

They made it a ways down the alley before Beast set Gambit down and the two continued running.  Over his shoulder Bobby began to stir.

"Owww…my head…" he reached up and rubbed his forehead and felt himself being jostled about.  "Geez Hank, easy.  Have I got a…Logan?"  He blinked in confusion as he saw the enraged Wolverine running after them.  "What's Logan…Oh God!!! He's awake, you let him wake up!!!" 

Beast snuffed, "We didn't let him, he just did.  So much for your plan Robert." 

"Dis is the last time…" Gambit huffed as he raced, "Dat Gambit be followin a plan dat has stick figures an was drawn in crayon."

"Hey it's all I could find, and you two are the ones who screwed up! Boy he looks peeved, faster Hank!"

Hank looked sideways at Bobby, "You're awake now, you can run too." Quickly he dropped Bobby and continued to bound away.  Bobby quickly jumped to his feet, cast one look at Logan and ran after Beast and Gambit.  

"Who knew he could run so fast in a dress?" Bobby laughed and quickened his pace as Logan roared again.  

Do they make it? What all did they do to Logan? And where are they?  Stay tuned to find out! And I promise, no long waits this time.  It'll all be here soon, and more so keep reading and looking for me, adam_bat! 


	4. City Folk

Hello and howdy! Adam_bat is back and brings another fun chapter to you.  As promised it wasn't as long as before and I hope to get better with that.  Your reviews are all appreciated and I look forward to reading them, as I hope you have looked forward to chapter four:

CITY FOLK 

Logan was charging down the alleyway full steam and was just a few seconds away from making the leap that would overtake his quarry when his heel snapped.  "Son of a…!" he yelled as he fell forward and skidded across the pavement.  Lifting up he saw the three hightailing away.  

He pushed himself up into a sitting position and saw the offending chunk of plastic.  Looking down at his foot he growled, seeing one side of a pair of red high heels.  He viciously tore the ladies shoes off and diced them up with his claws.  Standing up in stocking feet he swore vicious, bloody, painful death on the three who had dressed him up like a street hooker and given him purple spots. 

He sniffed around and easily found the scent of the three soon to be corpses and set out after it.  Taking a moment to adjust his bosom, cursing and extending his revenge to include castration when he realized what he was doing, Logan began his hunt.

Beast, Bobby and Gambit had made it safely to the rooftops.  After leaping across several they settled against a roof hatch and caught their breaths.  Bobby was the first to renew normal breathing and his face slowly split into a grin, "That was awesome!"

Beast and Gambit stared at him incredulous, "What do you mean?  That incident was nearly fatal!" 

"Dat man almost kill us back der!"

Bobby smiled, "But did you see him? In those heels? And that dress.  I've never wished for a camcorder more in my life! Well except that time I accidentally opened the bathroom door with Storm inside….but this is defiantly a close second!"

Gambit shook his head in disbelief but Beast's face slowly cracked and he began laughing, "You tink dat was funny too?!" Gambit snapped and Beast nodded helplessly.

"I know that it was a terrible fiasco, and more likely than not we will pay for it later, but…that scene, it was truly priceless.  Logan looking so vicious yet wearing a short skirt and blond wig…" Beast lay back and laughed.

Gambit shook his head again but a slim smile appeared and he chuckled, "Alright it was funny, very bad fo us, but funny."

"And did you see him bounce?!" Bobby pointed out, holding his side, "He woulda made some of those Baywatch babes jealous!" That was all any of them could take and all three exploded into loud riotous laughter that echoed along the skyline of the city.

"Hey," Bobby gasped after several minutes, "we should get moving.  Ol' Logan will be tracking us."  

Beast and Gambit slowly caught their breaths and nodded, "I believe the best course of action would be for us to head immediately to the airport.  A hasty getaway as it were," Beast suggested and the trio began to climb back down to the alley below.  

Hopping off the fire escape Gambit landed last and looked around, "We goin to da airport, but which way is dat?"

Beast scratched his head and thought, "It's hard to tell which way to go, when one does not know where they are."

Bobby surveyed the area and gulped, "Well judging by the he/she on the corner, and the group of unfriendly types coming this way," he pointed at an advancing gang that was sauntering over whispering angrily amongst each other, "I'd say we're in a bad part of town."

"Oh dear," Beast sighed and eased into a calm, but effectively defensive stance.  Bobby was ready and Gambit calmly lit a cigarette.

"Yo!" A man in the lead yelled.

Bobby rolled his eyes and Beast made an effort to respond, "Greetings."

The man turned to another at his side and the two snuffed, "Greetings?! Where do you get off comin in here and sayin greetings?  What are you, some sort a highbred freak?"

Beast frowned and sighed, "I apologize, would 'yo hommie' have been the proper response?"

Bobby giggled and Gambit smiled.

"You trying to be funny?  Look, we don't like freaks around here."

"Then we'll let you know if we see any," Bobby replied and smiled, "Until then we were just on our way out so…"

The leader spat, "That's real cute, but none of you are goin anywhere."

"If I could interrupt, I believe that you meant, 'no one is going anywhere' of course I could be wrong but I rarely am so…"  Beast cut in and began to muse.

"Oh that's it! Get em'!"   The leader yelled and his gang quickly moved forward.

"So much for the friendly approach," Bobby cracked.

Several minutes later and the three casually strolled out of the alley.

"What a clichéd bunch," Hank noted and Bobby nodded, giving a nod to the figure on the corner before heading across the street.  Behind them the group moped around nursing their wounds.  Several were covered in a thin layer of frost, some bearing scorch marks on their torn clothing, and all had pink skin.

Once across they headed up the street to find a cab slowly passing by, "Taxi!" Hank called.  The car began slowing down but as it neared the tires quickly squealed and the vehicle zoomed away, "must be the neighborhood." Beast said and the other two nodded.  

"Well guess we're walking for awhile," Bobby sighed, "wonder how much distance we've put between us and Logan." 

Logan had followed the three's trail up to the rooftops and back down into the alley, too engrossed in his search to even worry about the clothes he wore.  He was in a very bad mood and it only worsened by the minute.  As he hopped off the ladder to the fire escape he heard a rip and looked down to see the seam splitting on his dress.

"Dammit," he muttered while examining it, "I'll kill em' I swear…"

"Hey tramp!" Logan lifted his head and saw a woman angrily approaching.  He sighed when he caught the scent and other tell tale signs that this was actually a man, "I'm working this area!" 

Logan prepared a response when his attention was turned to another shout from down the alley,   "Yo!" Logan growled when he saw a pink man approaching with a pack of carnation thugs, "We don't like freaks around here!"

Looking from the haughty transvestite to the rosy colored gang Logan raised his head back and laughed gruffly, "Oh, this has gone wayyy beyond a simple killing."  

"You laugh…" He was cut off as Logan's fist slammed across his face.  The rest of the gang blinked and surged forward.  Logan grinned; finally having targets to release some of his anger out on, and began to have fun.  He knocked one down with a punch across the jaw, sent another flying with a kick to the gut, and tossed one over his shoulder into two others.  

Laying the rest out with various moves involving his fists Logan looked around and was satisfied to hear all of the gang groaning and skulking off.  At his feet was the leader, nursing a bruised cheek and looking up at him fearfully.  Logan flashed a feral grin and reached down, hauling the man up, "Now, not that I need ta know but just for the sake of asking, you've seen three guys come thru here recently.  Which way did they go?"

"I...I don't…"

Logan tsked and shook his head, "Come on, do somethin smart for once.  Think hard, they turned ya pink, one was blue and furry."

The man in his grip sighed angrily and nodded, "Yeah, alright.  Those punks…you go find em' they went that way." He pointed and Logan nodded, dropping him and dusting off his hands.  

As soon as Logan turned his back to the man he jumped up and fled.  Logan allowed him to go, his attention now turned to the transvestite who was looking him over approvingly.

"You're very strong," the he/she said, voice taking on what passed as a seducing tone, "and aggressive." 

Logan shook his head, adjusted his chest again and walked past, "Ya ain't my type." The street walker pouted and returned to his corner, giving Logan one last look over before heading to the open window of a car.

Alright there ya go! Yet another chapter finished with more to come.  Again I hope to have the next one up shortly and that one will have a surprise guest! So keep an eye out and I'll be back. 


	5. Busted in the City

Ha ha!!! The AB lives!!! And returns with a new and exciting chapter to the story left for so long! Unfortunately evil things like work an school have kept me busy but I'm at it again and already have fun stuff for you guys. So read, hopefully enjoy and rest assured there is more and it will come soon. And for those of you who have waited, thank you and my apologies. And now, without further delay AB gives you...

**Busted in the City **

"So...." Bobby began innocently, "are we there yet?"

"Bobby, you ask dat one more time and Gambit gonna throw you in front of a car." The Cajun growled.

"Okay, okay." Bobby pouted and turned to Beast, "So..."

"Don't you..." Beast warned and looked up as a light flashed. A patrol car flared its roof lights again and the trio froze.

"Just be cool." Bobby whispered as the officer stepped out of the vehicle. Beast rolled his eyes and smiled as the cop approached.

"Good evening officer. Is there anything we can help you with?"

The officer looked Hank up and down and nodded, "Yes, as a matter of fact. There have been several robberies reported in this area and..."

"QUICK, SPLIT UP AND RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bobby shouted and ran. Gambit was quick to react, running in the opposite direction Bobby had and leaving only Beast and the officer, both standing dumbfounded.

"If you had seen anything." The cop finished and reached behind his back. Beast gaped, startled and quickly reached out, pushing the officer to the ground.

"Sorry." He apologized before leaping over him and running away.

Logan shuffled down an alley way and cursed as he stepped on a patch of glass. Muttering obscenities he paused a moment to lean against a wall and pull a long sliver from the bottom of his foot. He examined the bit and realized that his hand was now flesh toned, "Well it's about flamin time." He muttered and looked quickly down at his chest, "almost." he sighed and continued along Bobby and the other's trail, sniffing and grinning as his senses revealed how close he was, "Gotcha."

Bobby tore down the alleyway in a crazed panic. He cast fearful glances over his shoulder to make sure no one was following but as he did so ran straight into a brick wall. That's how it felt, but as he looked up rubbing his head he realized it was much worse.

"Oh god!!" Bobby screamed and tried to scramble to his feet.

"Caught ya Drake!" Logan roared and reached down. Bobby managed to kick him off and rise up, running a few feet before Logan pounced on top of him.

"Help!!!!!!!" the shrill scream carried up to the roof tops and over to the ears of another.

"Hark! I hear a call of distress!" the figure quipped and dove off the roof top to investigate.

Gambit pounded down an alleyway, coat flying behind him and eyes on the search for any pursuers. He paused as he reached the end that led out to the street, pressing against the wall and peeking out. "De coast is clear," he grinned and sauntered out. Just as his foot hit the sidewalk a police cruiser turned the corner and began heading down the street.

Gambit quickly ducked back into the alley and searched for refuge, diving into a dumpster just as the cars spotlight shone down the alleyway.

"Dis just great," he muttered softly as he pulled a banana peel off of his shoulder.

He waited a few minutes before climbing out of the trash heap. Dusting himself off he began to idly wonder whether or not Beast and Bobby got away and decided to go and find them. "Guess we meet at de airport. Dat's where we was headed." He reasoned and began to walk.

A few blocks later and Gambit got the uneasy feeling that he was being followed. Looking back he easily found is pursuer. "A dog?" he shook his head and waved his hands at the shaggy creature, "Shoo pooch. Go on." The dog tilted his head and began to pant. "Gambit got nothin for you dog, so jus go on." The dog barked and Gambit jumped, "Hey now. Take it easy. Don wanna hurt ya, why don you go home?" The dog barked again and Gambit held his hands up, "Okay, so you don have a home. Well you can't come wif Gambit, de professor won like it. An Gambit don need no dog anyway. But look here, you go fin yo'self a femme. She make it so dat you don worry bout not havin a home." He winked and grinned at the dog and it trotted off wagging its tail.

"Good, now to find dem other hommes." He turned and headed into another alley.

Beast had escaped the cop and headed for the rooftops, using his agility to leap across them and put distance between him and the law. Deciding that he was a safe distance away he ventured down to the street below in order to gain his bearings. "Let's see..." he scratched his chin and examined a street sign, "we were heading for the airport, and we came from...that way?" he pointed and nodded to answer his own question.

"Hey!" Came a shout and Beast turned to see a traffic officer come running at him, holding a clipboard full of tickets.

"Oh dear." Hank sighed and began to flee. He bounded down the street and leapt up to a street light when he reached the corner. He used it to swing around and leapt to the next one, smiling at the ease of it and the distance it helped him create. He prepared for another jump when the metal groaned and the bar snapped, sending him flying awkwardly thru the air. He struggled to regain his balance but was saved when he landed on top of a canopy to a small restaurant.

"I shall have to work on that," he said and searched for a way down. One was provided for him as the canopy ripped and he fell thru, crashing onto a table below.

"Hank?!" Scott shouted in disbelief. He stood up; wearing the plate of spaghetti he had been eating and glaring at Beast. Across from him Jean was also standing, evening gown covered in Alfredo.

"Hello Scott...Jean. Enjoying your evening?" Beast smiled and raised his hand, waving at them both before the table collapsed.

"Don't kill me!!" Bobby pleaded. Logan growled and angrily yanked off his shirt, "Wait, what are you doing?! Help!!!!!!"

"Shut up Drake, an give me yer pants!"

"You're crazy! No, I'm not gonna..." SNIKT! "Okay here!" He tugged off his jeans and tossed them at Logan's feet.

"Now that's not nice." Came a voice from overhead and suddenly Logan's hand and claws were wrapped up in webbing. "Just because you don't' like your own wardrobe doesn't mean you can steal someone else's. Now ma'm..er fellow...um...what?" Logan turned around to face him growling and pulling the webbing off. "Woah! Someone fell out of the ugly tree..."

"And hit every branch on the way down." Bobby finished and laughed. Logan snarled and he shut his mouth.

"Look kid, this isn't yer problem or concern. So just leave."

Spider-man looked from Logan down to Bobby who was holding his hands together as if praying. "Sorry pal. But the little guy doesn't seem to want to stay here with you so..." He fired another web blast at Logan who easily dodged it.

"I warned ya." He growled and was struck in the face with a flying foot as Spider-man leapt down at him.

"So you did." Spider-man followed the kick with a punch that was blocked and returned. "That didn't hurt." He lied and was struck with another, "That one...yeah just a bit." He flipped away, sending out more webbing, this time aimed at Logan's legs. It stuck on and he yanked, pulling Logan up and sending him on his back. Bobby took the opportunity to jump up and grab onto Spider-man's shoulder.

"We have to run!"

"What? Why? I'm winning...aren't I?" he looked and Logan was back up, this time with claws extended.

"No!" Bobby screamed and Spider-man froze, "Come on!!!"

"You don't have to tell me twice!" He grabbed onto Bobby's wrist and they ran down the alley, climbing up the nearest fire escape and swinging away when they had gained enough height.

Gambit continued walking, pretending not to notice the dog following him. He whistled, hummed and pointedly ignored the dog until he couldn't stand it anymore.

"GO HOME!" He shouted, whirling around to face the animal. It stopped in its tracks and stared at him blankly. Gambit growled and reached into his coat, pulling out a playing card and charging it. The dog blinked and ran off. Gambit sighed, diffusing the card and renewing his walk.

A few minutes later and Gambit stopped, straightening up and clenching his fist, "Dog if you..." He turned around and looked down mouth dropping in surprise.

"What you got dere?" He reached down and pulled a gleaming watch from the K-9's mouth. "Dis a nice watch, where you get it?"

He looked at the dog who offered no answer. Gambit shrugged and pocketed the watch. The dog barked happily and trotted off. "Yeah, you go home now. Gambit gotta fine his friends."

Beast sat in the ruble of the table, pulling strands of pasta from his fur and idly chatting with Scott and Jean who were both glaring at him and silently fuming.

"Such a surprise finding you two out here, although it is a lovely evening. Beautiful moon out, mild temperature, it would seem the meteorologist was correct in predicting the..."

"Hank..."

"night's conditions. A tricky business that especially when Ororo decides to throw her hand into it. Sometimes I feel sorry for..."

"Hank."

"those responsible for conveying the local weather patterns and temperatures when we seem to be constantly interfering. Not that we mean to mind you, but the art of weather prediction is tricky enough without..."

"Hank!"

"our shenanigans. Yes Scott?" Beast smiled up at him cheerfully and Scott laid his face in one hand, muttering a moment before composing himself.

"What are you doing here?"

Hank's smile faded but he quickly pasted on another. "Oh, nothing, just enjoying the evening. A casual stroll, or swing rather, through the moonlit streets of the city. Call me romantic but nothing quite compares to..."

"Hank...Hank...HANK!" Scott shouted loudly, nearly knocking his own sunglasses off with his expression. Beast froze and Scott growled, "I don't believe you."

Trying to look indignant Hank stood up and began brushing off the remaining pasta bits. "Well I'm sorry you feel that way Scott. I apologize for disrupting your evening and shall now take my leave. Please forgive me. Jean." He bowed lightly to Jean and then to Scott and began to walk away.

"Scott?" Jean lightly touched his shoulder but he shook his head.

"Something's not right." He watched Beast trudge down the street and turn the corner. A few seconds later and the blue mutant came bounding back. He was followed closely by a pair of cops. Scott and Jean both shared a glance then moved aside.

Seeing their actions Beast frowned, "I seem to be in a bit of a predicament here!" He called as he leapt by.

Scott shrugged and Beast tripped. He fell forward and crashed into another table. "Scott?" The officers converged on him and one cast a look up at the man with the sunglasses.

"I don't know him." Scott said, grabbing Jean's arm in the crook of his, "We're enjoying the evening."

The officers nodded and turned back to Beast. "Alright, looks like we've finally caught the furry bandit."

"Furry bandit?! Scott!" The officers hoisted him up and after a small struggle with their handcuffs settled for simply leading him away. "I assure you officers this is all the result of a simple misunderstanding..."

With a rough and tumbling crash Spider-man and Bobby landed on the roof of an apartment complex.

"Nice landing." Bobby mumbled, picking himself off of the roof.

"Sure, says mister boxer shorts," Spider-man replied. "Nice penguins."

"They were a gift!" Bobby defended.

"Suuurrree. Did they come with a teddy?"

"As a matter of fact they did. Mr. Underoos."

"Hey!" Spider-man shouted, tugging on the fabric of his shirt. "These are not underoos."

"Whatever man," Bobby smirked.

Spider-man raised his hand up, forefinger and thumb up and out in an 'L' which he held up to Bobby who responded by sticking out his tongue. The banter went back and forth for the next several minutes and somehow resulted in rock/paper/scissors match which Spider-man won.

"HA!"

"Best two out of three."

"What do you think that was?"

"Practice."

Spider-man snorted and waved him off.

"Fine." Bobby grouched then looked around. "Where are we?"

"Not sure." The web slinger admitted. They both went to the edge of the roof and looked down upon a late night theater below. "We could ask."

Bobby shook his head, "Nope, I'm sticking to the roof tops. Every time I go down there something happens."

"Like being stripped down to your unmentionables?"

"Unmentionables?" Bobby arched his brow and Spider-man shrugged. Bobby sighed and shook his head, "That's not the worst of it. No, I think it's best if we stay up here."

"We? I'm gone man. Saved your life, got away, now to finish with the whole riding off into the night."

"You didn't get away," Bobby corrected. "You just made yourself prey."

"What?" Spider-man turned to look at Bobby.

"Prey. Fight of flight? Run and be chased. You helped me get away, now your part of the game."

"What game?! What are you talking about??"

"Relax; we've kept away from him this long. Logan's a bit ticked at us right now. You did see his boobies right?"

I was wondering about that..." Spider-man scratched his chin then shook the thought away. "Wait! Because I helped you he wants to kill me now too?!"

"Yup. Well maybe not kill, viciously scar or maim maybe but not necessarily kill."

"Still...all because I saved you?"

"We're in this together Spidey. You & me, and Beast and Gambit if we can find them." Bobby draped his arm around Spider-man's shoulders while Spidey continued to think.

"What if I had you over to him?"

"Bobby quickly pulled his arm back. "Hey!!"

"Well I'm not going to face the wrath of Wolverine because you guys dressed him in drag and gave him dirty pillows."

"Dirty pillows? Come on," Bobby strode away scratching his head then came back, "Look, if you don't turn me in and help me get to the airport I'll buy you a ticket to come to Hawaii with us."

"Hawaii? Hmmmm..."

"Luau, ladies in bikinis, sunsets, chilled drinks..." Bobby's voice had a dreamlike fantasy to it and he felt he was reaching Spider-man.

"Nah, I sunburn easy. Look there he is now, Hey Wolverine I got him right here!!!" Spider-man called out and waved. Bobby looked and gasped as Wolverine came running across the rooftops.

"NO! You're crazy! He'll rip us both up!"

"No he won't he wants you."

SNIKT

Spider-man blinked, "Wow, he's coming pretty fast. And...he's looking at me!!"

"Of course you kicked him in the Jimmy!"

"I did not!"

"RAAARRRGGGH!!!"

"AAHHHH!!!" Spider-man grabbed Bobby and jumped off the roof. They swung down to the alley below crashing into a group of garbage cans as the web line was cut.

"Nice landing...."

"Don't start." Spider-man jerked Bobby up and the two began to run. Above Wolverine began to climb down the roof.

The pair ran around the building to the other side and to the movie theater.

"Do you have any money?!" Bobby yelled.

"Um...no. It's in my other pants." Spider-man replied and Bobby rolled his eyes then yanked off his sock.

"I got...twenty bucks." He ran to the ticket window where the attendant was busy reading a magazine. "One child and one adult please!!" Bobby said and slapped down some money.

"Twelve dollars." She drawled, not even bothering to look up. Bobby slid the money through the small window and held out his hand, dancing impatiently as the tickets slowly came. They were handed over and Bobby snatched his hand out.

"Thanks!" He headed for the doors but Spider-man stopped him.

"We can't go in there I'm in costume."

"You're a big fan."

"And you're practically naked!"

"I'm a nudist, it's New York. Come on!"

Spider-man shrugged and followed.

"I need two tubs of popcorn!" Bobby shouted at the concession counter. "With lots of butter."

"I don't like movie butter."

"Ignore him I'm paying." Bobby handed the last of the money over.

"You're four dollars short sir." The cashier informed him.

"Oh, hang on a sec." He yanked off his other sock and handed over a sweaty crumpled five. "Keep the change." He said while grabbing the tubs and motioning Spider-man to follow.

The cashier held the bill out distastefully, "Enjoy your movie."

They pounded down the hallway and Bobby handed his tickets to the usher.

"Who's the child?" The man grunted sarcastically, "You need another ticket."

"What? He's like ten." Bobby argued. "He's just a little tall for his age." The usher glared at him. "Come on look at him. Skinny, big feet, Underoos."

"They're not underoos!"  
"Isn't he cute?"

The usher sighed and tore the tickets. "Second theater on your left. You two better not make any trouble."

"Thanks." Bobby grinned and quickly led the way down the hall. They hurried into the theater and Bobby lifted the tub over his head and dumped the popcorn on himself. Quickly he rubbed butter and kernels into his hair and body.

"What are you doing?" Spider-man yelled.

"SHHH!!!" Several members of the audience hissed.

"This will cover our scent so Wolvie can't find us." Bobby explained.

"You're crazy!!!"

"SHHH!!"

"You're crazy!" Spider-man whispered harshly. "This isn't going to work."

Bobby looked down at the pile of popcorn at his feet and the empty tub in his hand, "No, no this is good. Hurry up." He reached into the tub, drawing out fingers smeared with butter and began to coat his underarms.

"That's disgusting." Spider-man groaned, and then with a sigh dumped his tub over his head.

Bobby finished his smearing and grabbed Spider-man's arm dragging him down the aisle and towards the middle, passing in front of several other moviegoers.

"Excuse me, watch out, coming through, move!"

They found two seats wedged in-between a fat woman and an old man. Bobby sat next to the woman struggling for space on the arm rest. Spider-man sat down next to the old man who was already asleep as the preview trailers rolled on the screen. The old man slid over and his head fell on Spider-man's shoulder.  
"Um...sir?" Sir you're..." Spider-man debated pushing the old man off when suddenly the door to the theater flew open. Light spilled down the aisle and a shadow cast down, it was Logan.

Frightened Spidey slid down in his seat and tapped Bobby, pointing at the shadow that disappeared as the door closed. Breathlessly they watched as Logan tracked down the aisle pausing before their row.

"Oh god." Spider-man whispered but to his relief Logan moved on.

He returned several times but after the eighth trip he exited the theater.

"I can't believe that just happened." Spider-man sighed.

"No kidding, but I told you it would work. Popcorn?" Bobby offered a piece he had pulled from his hair.

"No thanks."

Gambit continued on towards the airport, the dog returning now and again with more prizes. He had already brought three watches, two bracelets, a gold pen and $30.

Still somewhat annoyed with being followed Gambit was slowly warming up to the dog, patting his head and giving him praise when he returned. The Cajun had just cut a corner and saw a subway entrance that should take him to the airport when the dog caught up. This time with a purse.

"Merde!" Gambit exclaimed, worrying not for the first time about where the animal was getting the items. Taking the purse from the dog he held it up and shook it at him. "Dis not good! Where you get it? Gambit not careful you gonna git him in...trouble..." He froze as a search light spotted on him from a police cruiser.

Two cops emerged and Gambit turned to run only to see tow others rounding the corner. Another came in from the opposite direction and shouted, "Freeze!!"

Gambit quickly dropped the purse and pointed at the dog. "It was him!"

The dog began to bark and froze in the classic pointing stance towards Remy growling. The officers moved in, one stopping to pat the dog while others cuffed Gambit. "Good boy Chase looks like you caught another crook."

"I was framed! It was de dog I swear!" Gambit pleaded as the officers cleaned out his pockets.

"The dog did it? Yeah sure, try another."

Gambit groaned and was led away. Through the back window of the police car he watched the dog receive treats and praise. It barked at the car and panted with a puppy smile.

The movie ended and Bobby and Spider-man strode out of the theater. "That was pretty good," Bobby commented, "I'm gonna have to get it on DVD."

Spider-man didn't say anything; instead he worked on loading another web cartridge. "Well, I'll be seeing you. Or not. I really hope for not."

"Hey, where are you going?" Bobby frowned.

"Home, we lost Wolverine and I got work tomorrow so...bye!"

"You can't leave! We have to get to the airport!"

"You have to, I'm not in this." Spider-man raised a hand and fired off a line but before he could ascend Bobby grabbed on, wrapping himself around the web slinger.

"No! You can't go!"

"Hey! Get off!!" Spider-man planted a hand on Bobby's face pushing and trying to pry him off. Bobby clung on desperately and the two began to fight. Thumping around the back alley of the theater and crashing into garbage cans, old crates and various other piles of junk.

"Let go!"

"No!"

"Get offa me!"

"You have to come!"

"You're crazy!"

"You're involved!"

"No...I'm...not!!" Spider-man maneuvered for one last push when the two were suddenly yanked up off the ground.

"Gotcha!!!" Logan leered at them both and in unison they screamed.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

Spider-man clenched his hand and webbed Wolverine's face while Bobby quickly iced his feet. Breaking away the two ran and after some quick claw action Logan followed.

Snatching Bobby, Spider-man sprang into the air. Ricocheting off several walls he burst through a boarded up window of an old warehouse. Once inside the two found themselves high in the rafters above the large room. Letting Bobby go Spider-man began to scramble across the iron I-beams and Bobby quickly followed.

Stopping a moment to survey the scene below Bobby laughed and pointed, "Hey look at that! It's a pimp convention!"

"Would you...really?" Spider-man backtracked to stand beside Bobby and look as well. "Wow, that's kinda funny."

Below dozens of men in fine suits or extravagant outfits mingled, drinking and showing off their workers who were also partying and wearing their 'business' attire.

The door burst in below and Logan rushed inside, stopped suddenly and looked around. "No," Bobby corrected, "That's funny!" He pointed as the crowd began to gather around Logan. He had put on Bobby's pants and shirt but his face was still extravagantly painted and the wig was still in place. Plus, he still had his 'yabos'.

Logan growled threateningly and the crowd dispersed a bit as he walked through, sniffing the air. Appreciative looks and comments floated around the room and the two fugitives above were desperate to contain their laughter. Bobby snickered and Logan's head flashed up, looking straight at him. "Yer both dead."

Before he could go after the threat, however, the doors burst in again and this time an entire precinct of police officers rushed in.

"It's a raid!!!" One shrill voice rose above the crowd and the room was thrown in a frenzy.

Feathered hats and pink boas were just some of the items tossed and trampled as the street workers fled.

Logan moved against the crowd, still hell bent on getting to the two above when he was knocked down by a funning fat woman in heels. He fell to the ground and Spider-man brought his webs to bear again, securing the berserker down. Quickly several officers swept in and picked him up, tossing Logan into the back of a van with several other colorful figures.

Bobby and Spider-man watched grinning as the police wagon zoomed away.

Well there ya go, most of our group has been apprehended by John law and we must now see what fate, or this author, has in store. Next chapter shall come soon (I have it written but shall wait to post MWAHAHA!) stay tuned!

brief authors note: This story takes place before all current comic arcs. As you have read Jean is still alive and with Scott, Iceman is still able to hold a human form and Beast is still his blue ape self so...yeah. Thank you.


End file.
